I DROPPED THE KETCHUP AND SCREAMED IN SHOCK AND THEN MY BROTHER CAME IN AND THOUGHT IT WAS BLOOD AND SCREAMED TOO AND WE WERE BOTH SCREAMING AT KETCHUP

egberts:

viarga:

just-laff:

egberts:

if i ever met a genie i wouldnt wish for a million dollars id wish that whenever i bought something i’d always have the right amount of money to pay for it in my pocket

you are one of the great thinkers of our time

Then you’d look at a house and be like “oh damn I wanna live there” and millions of dollars would be in your pockets, crushing and killing you instantly

thats why you have to make sure you have huge pockets before you go house shopping duh

nerdfighter13812:

ohanameansfandom:

Whenever anyone argues against marriage equality because of their religious views as a Christian I just want to hit them over the head repeatedly with a Bible whilst yelling

ADULTERY ISN’T ILLEGAL!!

LYING ISN’T ILLEGAL!!

DIVORCE ISN’T ILLEGAL!!

DISRESPECTING YOUR PARENTS ISN’T ILLEGAL!!

WORKING ON THE SABBATH ISN’T ILLEGAL!!

WORSHIPPING OTHER GODS ISN’T ILLEGAL!!

THE LAW DOES NOT FOLLOW THE BIBLE!!!!!

I’m a Christian and I approve this message.

insecure-happiness:

don’t ever assume someone likes you because 10/10 times they don’t

jaclcfrost:

avatargrimes:

jaclcfrost:

chiptunehero:

jaclcfrost:

no one ever talks about peter pan’s brother

peter pot

peter pot
the only boy who was higher than peter pan

and this is probably why no one talks about him

peter pot is so high, he neverlands.

and it’s definitely not because of any faith or trust or pixie dust

extrasad:

i really wanna kiss you and be cute with you and fall asleep in your arms and go on stupid dates but i also sort of want to light you on fire and throw myself into traffic so idk

dean-ilostmyshoe:

loverstabbedaswordthroughmyheart:

i-was-so-alone-and-iou-so-much:

vangoghstars:

sparkafterdark:

glamour-parade:

How do you politely tell someone that you want them naked on top of you

I’m pretty much positive that’s why poetry was even invented in the first place.

for the constellations of your skin to brush against
the earth of mine
i would swim the seas a thousand times

(please let’s fuck now)

That was beautiful

poets

who knew ed sheeran was on tumblr??

buttharrybutt:

buttharrybutt:

i lost my mood ring

i dont know how i feel about this

mebeingweird:

bondoge:

do u ever listen to a song and u like forget ur listening to it and when it’s almost over ur just like what

and then u repeat the song but then it happens again